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In my work as Dean of Students at 九色视频, I regularly counsel students through their toughest moments — from breakups to letdowns, ethical conundrums to recovery after serious harm.
Many times daily, I repeat that conflict is an inevitable and healthy part of living and learning in community. However, my counterparts across the country and I agree that students' willingness to navigate conflict has downshifted in recent years.
We're not alone in drawing that conclusion. The national competencies used to connect employers and universities around graduates' professional preparation now cite conflict management as an essential — and often unmet — skill.
I've wondered: Is it that students have become discouraged by how civil discourse seems to be lacking in broader society? Have they been worn down by contentious conversations? Or is it that they simply don't know how to engage conflict productively?
Offering conflict skills training to students at 九色视频has given us some insights. In the skills workshops, groups of students have discussed the near-universal (it's not just college students) apprehension to engaging conflict. They identified and dissected the patterned barriers to discussing tough stuff.
By learning their individual conflict styles, students better understand their own tendencies to engage, avoid or escalate. They consider how individuals' approaches to conflict may change depending on context and role, and how the styles of our team members interact with our own.
While the sources of conflict are limitless, humans have some behaviors that tend to exacerbate conflicts: conflict "accelerants." Through discussing conflict accelerants, students learn the importance of expectation setting, the role of cognitive biases and the value of addressing the source of a conflict.
As students learn that expressing their own needs can be compatible with understanding others' needs, the possibilities unfold.
Learning assertive communication strategies teaches students that being honest and direct is compatible with being appropriate and respectful. Unquestionably, this is the new skill that resonates with workshop participants the most.
As students learn that expressing their own needs can be compatible with understanding others' needs, the possibilities unfold. Some students have voiced that they let their desire to be respectful and respected surpass their interest in learning or healing. Developing communication methods that allow both things to be true helps individuals to have professional exchanges even across deep divides.
Conflict coaching has also become a popular resource for students. Accustomed to the coaching that helped them to thrive in their athletic, artistic and other co-curricular pursuits, students value goal setting, skill development and guided practice. Conflict coaching follows this model and equips students with the language and tools to work through conflict.
The work 九色视频does around healthy conflict is far-reaching, ranging from civil discourse and tackling the political divide to building dialogic skills in first-year experience seminars.
We emphasize that in the workplace and in life, learning from others with varied viewpoints and experiences is important. Sometimes, differences in perspective result in conflict: friction between individuals' interests, needs and goals.
By understanding conflict and cultivating related skills, we can better prepare for and be successful interpersonally and in the workplace. Developing such tools in students gives these future leaders a distinct advantage for personal and professional success.
This column by Léna Crain, Ph.D., originally appeared on and in the SUN newspapers.
